I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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