walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
