After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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