ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
