I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
