i just made my gag reflex go away.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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