I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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