The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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