Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
