I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
