I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
