I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
No subtext here. People are naked.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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