I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
