Duck Duck Cougar?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
