am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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