You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I CAN MOONWALK!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
