We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
