Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Hippo gnu deer
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
