Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
