I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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