you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i already hear my dad disowning me
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
