I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
