I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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