are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
