I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
So vagazzling was a success
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
PANTIES FOUND
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
