fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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