I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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