It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
