I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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