Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
