you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
