You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
