hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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