my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
