at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
