I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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