My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
