The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
