margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
