Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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