your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
