Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
