He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
