Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
