Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
