This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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