Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
zippers are such a cool invention
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
