that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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