i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
