party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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