Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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