Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
