Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
