its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
