I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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