After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
